"It's About Love" - Evander's Story

These two beautiful girls are both my cousins. Karissa (on the left) is from my mom's side. And Katie (on the right) is from my dad's side. Technically, these two are not related. But they now share an amazing bond that has made them just like family.

This very cute little guy, named Evander (or "Baby Sander" as Leah calls him) is their binding link.

If you are interested in knowing more, here's Evander's story of love...

First of all, let me give you a little background on my cousin Karissa (Kari). Kari and her husband, Laith, have been married for over 10 years. Although they are a very good and happy couple, they have had to endure some very hard trials during their marriage, including an ectopic pregnancy that caused some serious damage, various health problems for Laith, and a very expensive attempt at in-vitro fertilization (IVF) that failed and virtually wiped out their savings.

Realizing that they likely would never have children on their own, they decided to look into adoption. They got approved to be foster parents and worked on getting set up with LDS Social Services. However, because of the aforementioned expense of IVF, they couldn't quite afford the last $1000 they needed to set up their account, so they decided to put it on hold for a while. But then one day Kari was talking to a gentleman in their small town who asked about their plans for adoption. Kari mentioned their problem of the $1000 they needed. This inspired man insisted that they needed to get their account open as soon as possible and kindly offered to give them the money.

Meanwhile, my cousin, Katie, was having a really rough 2011. It was a really bumpy road for her, to say the least. And along this rocky road she found out that Baby Evander was on the way. At first she planned to keep him. But after hitting a few more road blocks, she realized that she would not be able to give Evander everything that this little guy would need and deserves.

One day my mom was talking to my aunt Susie (Katie's mom) and asked how things were going with Katie's various situations. Susie talked about how Katie was working with LDS Social Services and was thinking of placing the baby for adoption. Then my mom felt inspired to mention that Karissa and Laith were trying to adopt.

Susie went home and talked to Katie about this. Katie was actually considering another couple that she knew but was worried because this couple lived so far away and didn't want an open adoption (one where the birth family and the adopted family could have continuted open communication). So Susie called my mom and asked if Karissa and Laith would be willing to have an open adoption. My mom then called Kari who said "Of course they would be willing for an open adoption."

So Kari and Katie started talking more and more. And the more Katie was around Kari and Laith the more peace she felt about them being the right couple to raise her little boy. Kari and Laith came to doctor appointments, they met for lunches and communicated almost everyday. They got to know each other very well and Katie insisted that they be there for the birth and that Laith be the one to cut the cord.

In late January, Katie and her family threw a baby shower for Kari so they would have some of the much needed things for the baby. Leah and I went to the shower and it was so much fun because people from my Tucker family AND my Putnam family were there.

A few weeks ago that cute little guy was born. And my sweet cousin, Katie, went through with the hardest decision in her life and gave her son to Karissa and Laith. It was a bitter sweet experience. For my family, it was an especially interesting situation. We knew how hard it would be for Katie and her family. And we wanted to be able to comfort her. Yet we had seen all that Karissa and Laith had gone through and were genuinely excited to see them finally get a baby and we wanted to rejoice with them.

While I was visiting them at the hospital after the baby was born. the social worker came in and started talking about what would happen at the actual placement. Kari and Laith were both there in the room and Katie and her mom were getting very emotional. I remember feeling very confused about just how I should feel. I had family that was so sad and family that was so happy. So I decided to just be grateful that I was the one holding that special little boy just then.

Because of our unique place in all of this, my family decided to throw a special party for Katie after the baby was born. We wanted to make sure that she felt special and knew how grateful we were that she would give such an amazing gift to Karissa and Laith. So here's a few pictures from the party.

My amazing cousin Katie (I don't know if I could have done what she did)...

Some of the decorations and food...

The theme of the party was "You are a Star!" My sisters Melyssa and Lyndsee have been learning to decorate cakes with fondant and made this cute cake for her.

They also made a gluten-free ice cream filled chocolate cake that actually ended up being a bigger hit. And it was cool because when you cut into it, the ice cream filling was heart-shaped. Even though it was gluten-free, it tasted great!

Here's a couple pictures of two of my favorite party goers. These two are so cute together!

Having a front row seat for this amazing story has really strengthened my testimony of a loving Heavenly Father and the amazing atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. There were so many miracles that occurred to help make this all come about that only the Hand of the Lord could have made them all come about so perfectly. Even now when I think about it, it makes me choke up and get teary-eyed.

I know this post is long, and if you are still reading, thanks for sticking it out. But I just wanted to end with a poem that Laith wrote. I think it does an amazing job of showing how little Evander has bonded my two cousins forever.

The Size of Our Family

Now that Evander is finally here

The size of our family isn't quite clear.

I had to write it all down to see

If I could get a count, accurately.

I get to be his dad,

That simple fact makes me feel glad!

And Katie will always be his mother,

Even though Kari is his other.

And although Holt will be his last name,

He gets Tucker and Ellis grandparents, the same.

Susie will make a super grandmother,

And since Logan's his uncle, that makes him my brother.

And Carli, my new sister, because she's his aunt,

Shouldn't be forgotten, in fact, I can't.

So that leaves Roger, please, don't be mad,

Cause, it's too late now, you are a granddad.

We're so grateful it all came about

And Evander wasn't too hard to get out.

Even though Katie was really scared,

At least the nurses were prepared.

Cause Dr. Twelves was still up the street,

And Katie couldn't get up on her feet.

Even though she just wanted to try,

And we all hated to see her cry.

The good Lord knew, he always does,

But, we weren't sure what his plan was.

We just all had faith in his will,

And put trust in his words "peace be still."

So, now that I counted, I think that I know

Our family will simply continue to grow.

And although we'll be separated by miles,

When we get together there'll be lots of smiles.

Because we're all one family, now

Evander has glued us together, somehow.

--Laith Holt, 7 Feb 2012, "Happy Daddy"

And here's a picture of Laith and Evander that I copied from Laith's Facebook page (I'm sure he won't mind).

Eating Yogurt

A couple nights ago I let Leah have yogurt with her dinner. Usually she's pretty good about just eating it, so I just let her eat while I sat by her reading in a magazine. When I looked up to check on her, I found a little girl who looked a little something like this...

Normally I would get after her and immediately start cleaning up the mess. But she was having so much fun that I decided to just be chill about it and go with the flow (she was going to get the bath right after this anyway). Besides, every kid needs a chance to just make a mess with their food every now and then, right? So here's some more pictures and a video of her having a grand time. Enjoy!

 

 

A Dancing Fool

In the last post I mentioned that Leah loves music and dancing. Well, yesterday morning I got this video of her dancing with Ross in her room. Enjoy the dancing and her crazy bed hair!

Leah is 20 Months Old

I'm way behind in this post, but it's been a while since I did a post about what Leah is up to these days. Last week she turned 20 months old. Some of these pictures are from a while ago, but they are some fun random pictures of her.

Here's Leah getting her first hair cut from her aunt MoMo around Halloween time. My sister, Melyssa, is a professional. So there is no way that I would try cutting Leah's hair on my own as long as she's around. She does a great job cutting all the nieces and nephew's hair.

She only got her bangs cut, but didn't seem to mind it at all. Her hair is getting pretty long now and is so curly. She's pretty good about letting me do it and loves to have "pretties" (i.e., little clips) in her hair. I love having a little girl whose hair I can do all cute!

Our little girl is an eater! And not a slow one. I feel like I'm always telling her to slow down and chew her food instead of shoving huge bites into her mouth and swallowing it nearly whole. She eats all on her own now and only wants us to feed her if she's gotten down to the end of her food and can't get it on to her spoon or fork. These pictures are from a while ago, she's actually pretty good at getting all her food into her mouth now.

Leah's favorite foods are still cheese, cottage cheese, pasta/noodles, crackers and fruit. She doesn't like potatoes (unless they are french fries or tater tots) or rice. We've also noticed that she's not really a fan of white bread. We almost always have wheat bread, so I guess she's just more used to that.

Oh, and another funny thing that she likes is salad dressing. We often have salad with dinner and our dressings are usually the Italian or vinaigrette type. So she insists that we put a little bit on her plate and she will dip her food in it. Sometimes when she has some of my balsamic vinaigrette dressing, she'll make the funniest face like the flavor is too strong, but then she always goes back for more!

Look at this cheesy grin!

Leah loves music. When she's in her room she wants to hear the Sesame Street CDs. And she likes to hear the Primary songs CD that we have in our stereo. She also wants to hear the songs on my iPod. You know when she wants to hear it because she'll point to the music player and say "Singing." Last night at Ross's mom's house she even insisted that we turn on the music in her CD player. During Chirstmas time she showed Leah that it plays music and now she wants to hear it whenever we are there.

She also wants us to sing to her all the time. Right now her favorite songs include "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree," "The Insty-Wensty Spider," and "Once There Was a Snowman."

She still loves Sesame Street. She can name almost all the characters and even identify most of them just by their voice.

Right now she's really into "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse." Her favorite characters are Mickey, Goofy, Pluto and Donald. I'm guessing they are her favorites because she'll get excited and say their names when she sees them. Here she is in one of her favorite pajamas. She's pointing to her Minnie Mouse.

Leah loves to go places. Sometimes when she can tell I'm leaving, she'll try to grab my hand and say "Coming." We've taken her to a few basketball games lately. Sometimes she does great, sometimes she's a real pain about sitting still for so long. So we've learned that if we really want to pay attention to the game, then we find her a babysitter.

Here she is with her beloved binky. She is so attached to her binkies. For so long she just called it "beeps" but in the last couple of weeks she's started to just call it binky. I try not to let her use it too much when she's playing during the day. But when she knows she wants it, she can be pretty stubborn and will say "Binky!" over and over again until she gets it.

Leah is a little monkey. She LOVES to climb. She'll even use her toys or plastic containers as step stools to get herself up to what she wants to reach. She also loves to go up and down the stairs now that she has figured out how to do it standing up.

One day I found her playing in the bottom drawer in the kitchen. She likes to empty it on a regular basis, but this day she had climbed into it and was using it to reach the counter. She's a thinker, this one is!

Here she is at one of the basketball games. We've taught her to say "Go Cougars!" She loves Cosmo. After a game we took her over by the victory bell where Cosmo was ringing it with some of the fans. She was so excited. And when we left she started crying and just said "cougar" over and over again.

With the help of BYU and Sesame Street she knows the letter Y really well. She even points it out when I have a letter Y somewhere on my shirt. She can also identify O, A (although she calls it "apple" instead of A) and sometimes Z.

Look at this face! What a funny kid!

Leah has started going to nursery at church. Although we have church at 1:00, which I've decided I hate. It is right in the middle of her nap time, so she's pretty tired and clingy when nursery time comes around. She does ok after I leave, but sneaking out when she's occupied with something else is always a challenge.

She really loves seeing pictures of Jesus and sometimes can get SO excited over them. She likes to look through our Book of Mormon reader looking for pictures of Jesus. And will even say "prophet" when she sees a picture of President Monson.

Leah likes going to church and knows many of the ward members by name and likes to point them out when she sees them. One of her favorites is one of the young men named Riley. He played with her during sacrament meeting once, so now he's her buddy. She likes to track him while he's passing the sacrament and say his name over and over again. One week when he was out of town she just kept saying "Riley?" over and over again all through the meeting. Here she is ready for church on Christmas morning.

Our little girl is a little parrot these days. She likes to repeat the last word of our sentences and seems to pick up a new word or phrase every day. Some of her favorite phrases right now are "I know" (meaning I don't know - used whenever we ask her where someone/something is) or "all gone" (her other answer to the aforementioned question). She also often says "I stuck" (which she actually pronounces more like "Ahhhh STUCK!). Her other new thing is to make a sad face and say "seepy" meaning that she's sleepy. However, she'll say that and then run circles around the house two minutes later so it's hard to take her too seriously.

Leah loves to play with computers, cell phones and iPods. She also loves toys that allow her to figure things out like puzzles. She also loves to play with anything that she can dump out and fill back up again - my purse is a particular favorite for this activity.

About a week ago I went to a funeral for my mom's uncle. He was buried in the same cemetery as Ross's dad. So I made sure I got a few pictures of Leah by her Grandpa Leslie's headstone. She loved playing with the little marbles that help hold the flowers in the vases.

One night I got out some of my old Elmo dolls. Leah had a blast playing with them even though most of their batteries are run down. She really liked this big Elmo, so I left him out so she could play with him some more.

Overall, Leah is a really good, happy little girl. Our biggest challenge with her still comes with her inability to sleep through the night. We keep hoping and praying that she will eventually figure it out. In the meantime, we'll keep loving this cute little girl to death!

All Geared Up

Ross's younger brother, Kyle, is currently living in Baton Rouge, LA with his little family while he's going to school at Louisiana State University (LSU). They had our family's name for Christmas and sent us this these fun LSU clothes. So on the day of the BCS Championship Bowl game between LSU and Alabama, we made sure we wore the stuff they sent us so that we would be all geared up for the game!

LSU did terrible in the bowl game - losing 21 to 0, they didn't even score any points! But lucky Kyle, he was able to attend the game for free. He works in the athletic department at LSU and was invited to help with crowd control that night. So I'm sure he had a great time being right there for the game even if his team didn't win. Oh well, LSU still had a great season.

So thanks again Kyle, Amy and Jackson for the great Christmas presents. We love and miss you guys!

PS - isn't this a great picture of Ross and Leah!! 

A New Year

I didn't end up taking any pictures for our New Year's festivities, but I did want to record some of the things we did. On the eve of New Year's Eve, we went to my parents' house to watch the BYU bowl game. It was interesting because they had recorded the game earlier that day, but no one had watched it or knew the outcome yet, except for my cousin Mike. However, from his general demeanor and the fact that he showed up to watch the game, most of us knew that BYU must have won. However, Ross doesn't know Mike as well, so he didn't catch on and was able to be genuinely surprised when BYU scored a touchdown to win in the last seconds of the game!

On the morning of New Year's Eve we joined the Turner family for their family party. (The Turners are the family of my best friend, Lesley). We ate some yummy breakfast foods, tried some Zumba, played some basketball and enjoyed visiting with some great people. The Turners are so great to us! On a side note, Larry and Vera announced to their children on Christmas Day that they are going to serve a mission in the Nauvoo Temple this year from April to November. This was great news and we are very excited for them!!

New Year's Eve was on a Saturday this year, which frankly stunk! We needed to be back home Saturday night so we would be there for church responsibilities we had Sunday morning. So after eating some dinner at my parents' house, we headed for home so we wouldn't be on the roads too late. After the ball dropped at midnight, we called it a night and went to bed. It was so anticlimatical.

Sunday we went to Ross's mom's house and spent the night with her so we would be there for the traditional New Year's Day salmon (and steak) dinner. It was an unusually nice day and Ross was able to enjoy playing football with this brother and nephews. True to tradition, mom made sure there was TONS of yummy food. She even sent everyone home with lots of food. She is so good to us and we had a great time!

Some other fun things that happened the first week of the year included a fun lunch with Lesley and our good friend from our CEU days, Mandy. And one evening I helped watch my sister-in-law, Norma's, kids and then we enjoyed a great dinner/visit with her. Leah loved playing with William and Sierra.

Then on Friday, I went to the Turner's house to visit with Lesley and her family before they went back to California. During the holidays was the first time that we got to meet this cute guy in person...

This is Lesley's son, Seth. He's such an easy-going, fun, roly-poly little boy! I loved holding him and kissing on his big chubby cheeks! Before I left, we snapped a few pictures of Hannah and Leah. Leah loves Hannah and she says her name so cute!

Hannah's cousin, Jayci, wanted to get in on the picture taking too!

I can't believe how big Hannah is getting. She looks like such a grown-up little girl in this picture. I don't know when we'll get to see her in person again. But it was so fun to enjoy the Price family while they were here.

Christmas 2011

NOTE: Christmas is a big event, so this is a big post with lots of pictures!

I love that Ross works for a school district (with the exception of the pay, of course) because that means he gets lots of time off for Christmas break. Consequently, we get to do lots of fun stuff together! On one of his first days off, we went out to dinner and then went to see the Festival of Lights. The line of cars to get in was really long, but moved really quickly and was worth the wait. Once we got inside, I got Leah out and let her sit on my lap while we drove around so she could see the lights better. She liked the lights, but even more she liked playing with everything she could touch and climbing all over me in the front seat. Now I know why having a toddler strapped into a car seat is such a great idea (other than the obvious reason of safety). Here we are with some of the lights out the window.

Friday night we went to spend the night at Ross's mom's house. We enjoyed a fun pizza dinner together and even got a surprise visit from Stuart's family (Ross's brother) when they stopped by to carol for us and drop off a yummy treat. Leah loved being able to play with her Grandma Leslie and we all really enjoyed having that one-on-one time with her before the rest of the family came the next day!

On Christmas Eve, we had our traditional dinner, Nativity and opening of presents with the Leslie family at Ross's mom's house. We had a fabulous dinner of various Mexican foods and some very yummy tres leches cake and Mexican hot chocolate for dessert.

Here are some of the actors patiently waiting for the Nativity to start.

The angel built him a cushy bed of pillows in the corner.

Here's Grandma with this year's "Baby Jesus" wrapped in her swaddling clothes.

Here's the innkeeper and his wife explaining to Joseph that he had no room in the inn, but that they could stay in his stable instead. I loved the solemn look that Isaac had on his face while his dad was talking to him. He was really in character! In case you can't tell, that's Mary riding on the donkey (a.k.a Ross)! Actually, Ross was happy to not have a speaking role.



Leah as "Baby Jesus" laying in the manger. She wasn't really keen doing it either.

Here are the shepherds.

The Angel and Narrator.

Tricia always does a great job of accompanying us on the guitar.

The shepherds coming to worship the Baby Jesus. Leah really didn't like all the attention and wanted to bail.

Here's the wise men who came bearing gifts.

Look at this wise guy!

After a fun evening with the Leslies, we came back home and got ready for Santa to make his visit. Here's some pictures I took after all the gifts had been put around the tree.

 

Christmas morning!!! We slept in until Leah woke up around 8:00 am and then went down to see our presents. Church was at 11:00 am, so we just opened a few things, had breakfast and then got ready for church.

After a wonderful, musical sacrament meeting we came back home and enjoyed a Christmas brunch while Leah took a nap. Then we finished opening up our gifts. Leah was pretty good at the gift opening thing. She liked to rip the paper off, but fortunately would only open gifts if we told her too. I probably could have put more gifts under the tree before Christmas and she would have left them alone, but I didn't want to risk it.

Helping Daddy open his gift.

Leah loved playing with her toys. She loved (and still does love) putting all these wooden pieces from their wood box to that shoebox on the right. Not really what they are meant to do. But it keeps her entertained for a long time!

A family picture after we opened all our gifts.

After opening all our gifts we drove up to my parents house to have Christmas dinner and exchange presents with my siblings' families. Here's Leah opening her gift from my parents with help from her aunt MoMo.

This year, my mom made pillowcases with their names on them for each of the grandchildren. They boys all had sports themed cases and all the girls got this cute ballerina print. They also gave them a nice poem about a year when Santa gave a special pillowcase as a Christmas gift. And each of the kids got some candy too. Leah loves candy and will ask several times a day for a "treat."

 

Some of the kids playing with the fishing game that we gave my niece and nephew.

My niece, Makynlee, got a toy four-wheeler for Christmas. There's a button on the handle that you push and the four-wheeler will move by itself. My sister showed Leah how to do it and she had a ball "driving" herself around. I posted a couple of short videos of her doing it.

I love the look on Leah's face at about 12 seconds into this second video. I don't know if you can see it in the video, but she turned around and looked at everybody with a jaw-dropping grin!

I also love the look on Makynlee's face when she realized that Leah was playing with her four-wheeler! So funny!

On Monday night we thought we had this great idea to go up to Temple Square and see the lights. It was a good idea, but thousands of other people also had the idea. It was really crowded, but I'm still really glad we went.

We had the two little girls bundled up and stuff in the stroller together. Overall, they both did pretty well. Maykynlee would mostly just get upset when her beannie would slip over her eyes and she wouldn't be able to see any more.

Here's me and my sisters waiting for the Nativity to start. By the way, my sister Melyssa made all the beannies that we are wearing!

Me and Ross.

The little girls loved seeing the temple all lit up. "Temple" is on of Leah's favorite words to say and she recognizes pictures of temples when she sees them.

It was so crowded downtown, that we couldn't find a place to park near Temple Square. So we drove a couple blocks down to park and then rode the Trax train in the free-zone and got off at Temple Square. Here's me and Leah waiting for the train to go back to the cars.

Here's Baby J with her daddy, Jason. I call her Baby J because she looked so much like her daddy when she was born (and still does). They had her bundled up with so many layers that my sister joked that she was like the little kid in the movie "A Christmas Story" that couldn't put his arms down.

Leah with her beloved Grandpa and Grandma.

After we got back from our adventure, we enjoyed some hot chocolate and yummy homemade sourdough scones with chili and cheese while we finished playing "The Logos Game." I was winning when we left, but I think I ended up in about last place!

On Tuesday we enjoyed a nice visit from my best friend, Lesley, along with her husband, Brian, and their two children Hannah and baby Seth (whom we met for the first time). Then we packed up all our junk and headed back to our house so I could help with the young men/young women mutual activity that night.

It's hard to imagine that all the Christmas festivities are over for another year. I love this time of year! Spending so much time with family and friends just about makes enduring the cold weather of winter worth it!